After a really tight bus ride with two of us on a seat smaller than an American yellow bus and a Colombian that requested to sit in between us even though my legs didn’t fit in the seat, then a short boat ride across a small canal we finally made it to the moto bikes that would take us to Playa Blanca. 5 Colombians took us on an hour long trip on the back of their bikes on dirt roads from one side of the island to the other. We finally arrived in paraiso and found our campsite at “moma’s” place which happened to be right next 2 beautiful Chileans who were stuck on the island with no money, perfect for my young travel buddies. We had a campsite right on the white sand beach about 20 yards from the Caribbean Sea. I set up a tent and my hammock and I was set. The next 2 days consisted of paddle ball on the beach, catching rays, a couple bottles of Ron and whatever food came down the beach. My favorite had to be the oysters which were small but very tasty and shucked right in front of me while I ate. They were also a bit cheaper than at home too-10 for a dollar! For lunch we ate shrimp and lobster ceviche which was actually just shrimp and lobster cocktail in a cup mixed with a special homemade cocktail sauce. Dinner was whatever came off the boat, usually lobster. The kids were pleased with my negotiating skills. When the fisherman wanted $10 for one big lobster, we were able to get everything in his boat for $20 and there was a lobster feast for the 7 of us. Within a day, the whole island knew that we were going to pay Colombiano prices, not gringo prices. Moma loved us and so did everyone else including Don Tubo, the owner of the restaurant where we stayed and the man who cooked all of our food. By the time we left, momma and Don called me tio and momma tried to set me up with her daughter. Not sure if her daughter has teeth or looks like her real momma.
We arrived in piping hot Cartagena, a very old city on the Caribean sea. The buildings are beautiful and there is a lot of culture but there are tons of hookers and dirty hustlers. The first night there me and my Scottish friend meandered through town and ending up hanging out with a bunch of Colombians in the street and eventually made it to the sea to catch the ocean breeze and listen to some music. They had a clinger with them who they described as “the craziest guy in all of Colombia” who was wasted and I soon realized that I had seen this crazy man before. I quickly looked at the photos in my camera and it was true. I had met this Loco hombre at Fatima in Bogota where he was wasted as well. After a long night, I was walking around the following and somehow ran into him again. Of course he had a flask in his hand and for some reason he ended up following me around. This guy was so nuts that I had first figure out what he was saying in Spanish then figure out what the fuck he was talking about. He was always saying some sort of shit like “we are all on the same plane with the same destination”. Do you have any clue how hard that is to translate? Scottish Craig said to me that he thought that he was a borderline alcoholic but he clearly is an alcoholic and had to remind Craig that we were borderline alcoholics (joke mom). We ended up stopping by his hotel to pick something up and he showed me his sweet room for 10,000 pesos with a city and ocean view. The place was a little dirty but not any more dirty than the place that I was paying 20,000 for and sharing with three of my Oregonian friends. I talked Craig into checking into the crazy mans hotel with me and we shared a nice room with a view for 20,000 pesos. Good deal right? Yeah it was until we went back that night to shower and quickly realized that we were staying in a whore house! There was a line of street hookers at the front door on the street and upstairs at the front desk there was about 20 neatly stacked condom and paper towel combos. I guess that I just chose to ignore the 24 hora sign in the front of the place that day. It turned out to be fine, just a little dirty. Either way I needed to get the fuck out of this dirty town asap. I had been in cities for a month and it was time for the beach.
Medellin For those of you who don’t know anything about Medellin or don’t remember Medellin the movie from Entourage it is the Cocaine Capital of the World pretty much. It was the home of Pablo Escobar and the Colombian Cartel for many years until he was killed ten or fifteen years ago. Pablo Escobar was the all time Godfather. This is another city that has many traveler warnings for safety from the US government. However, today the city is safer than most US cities that I have been to. There are lots of people who have money and work hard but of course many who don’t have anything. I stayed at Casa Kiwi in a neighborhood called Poblado which reminds me of San Diego or Los Angeles. It is full of beautiful women, small boutique clothing stores and tons of outdoor restaurants and bars where everybody goes to eat, socialize and on the weekends, party. Medellin is called the “city of eternal spring” and the temperature is about 70 degrees all year long. While describing the women of Medellin and beauty sleep my young friend Willy said “damn, these bitches must sleep a lot!” We had a beautiful river flowing right by our place that you can hear from bed, an outdoor gym and nice basketball court with lights to play all night long. The only problem with the court is that the Colombianos always want to take over the court to play “football”. Apartments in this posh neighborhood go for about $400 per month for a big place and you can probably buy a house in the neighborhood for less than $200,000. The people of Medellin are supposed to be some of the hardest working people in the country and it is pretty hard to find a place to go out from Sunday to Wednesday. Medellin is also known for its plastic surgery since it is very good and very cheap compared to the US. Last Saturday I went to a club called Carnival for a party with a bunch of Gringo friends and it turned out to be one of the best parties that I have ever been to in my entire life. It was literally impossible to find an ugly girl in the entire place. It was a huge club with a roof that opens to let the moonlight in. At about 6:30 they closed the roof as it started to get sunny then at about 7:30 they opened it again to the beats of the electronic DJ as the daylight came pouring in to the cheers of over a thousand people who were still dancing and had no intention of going home any time soon but maybe make it to the after party at around 10 am. I was beat, had enough and went home to rest my legs. The night before I was at a small club in the neighborhood with my English friend John who is stuck in Medellin, Trystan the electronic music writer from England and Craig the 22 year old Scottish kid who just likes to have a good time and a bunch of other friends from the hostel. There was a German DJ playing and it was supposed to be a big night but when we got there everyone was watching the DJ and no one was dancing so I asked my buddy if I should do the worm. He willing said that he would pay me 40,000 pesos (about $15) to do it so of course I did. I actually was going to do it for free anyway. Dumbass. Later in the night a group of Colombians requested that I do it again for them (for free of course) so I had to oblige. It is too bad that I don’t have any other dance moves to go with the worm. I really need to start working on my backspin and windmill. The people in Colombia are great. Everywhere that I have been the people have welcomed me with open arms and treated me as if I was an old friend or family. If someone has a drink or food they share it with whoever is around whether they know you or not. I met a bunch of good travelers in Medellin including a group of 5 “kids” from Portland who just graduated and are traveling South America for 6 months. They remind me of all of my friends from home and school and make me feel young and old at the same time. One of them thinks that I look like his uncle so they started calling me Uncle which turned into Tio naturally in Colombia. They actually like to listen to all of my bullshit and are so young that they actually think that I have a clue what I am talking about Jon, the tall goofy one (no not me) bought what he thought was a porno named “sin tetas no hay paraiso” which turned out to be a Colombian novella. I’m not sure where the hell he got the idea that it was porn. I mean, yes they are more sexual in Latin America but there weren’t even any naked women on the cover. Either way, I’m glad that we sat on the couch for 20 minutes scanning through the DVD looking for the naked scenes because it gave me a good business idea. It is a good thing that I met them though because they got me out of Medellin and up to Cartagena and with them I could have been stuck in that town for a very long time.
I am so far behind writing this thing that it is not even funny.I have been in Bogota for two weeks but don’t ask me what I have done here or where I have been.Everyday, I say that I am going to leave tomorrow but there is ALWAYS another party to stay around for.I was planning on being here for a couple of days and here I am.I am not the only one though.Last night when I told another extranjero (foreigner) friend from Puerto Rico who happens to be the only other AMERICAN that I know or have met here that “I am stuck here”he said “you’re stuck, I have been here for four months!”.And my Australian friend has had his bag at the reception of our hostel for a week and every day he says that he is leaving tomorrow.We all have this problem.Bogota is great place where there are really no “TOURISTS”.I have not seen any annoying families on vacation nor do I ever hear English in the streets.When I started to feel bad about being here for so long and partying more than usual it was easily justified by the fact that I have learned more Spanish in two weeks here than anywhere else that I have ever been.I am forced to speak Spanish all day long.Almost all of my friends here are Colombianos.They are a little crazy but very good people.
It is funny how everyone told me that it is really dangerous in Colombia and that I should not come here but I feel safer here than I do when I walk around Baltimore.I have been with Colombians every day and I have had the same lighter the entire time that I have been in Bogota…That would never happen at home.It is almost as if they realize that they have a bad reputation and make sure that you know that they are not theives.I have learned very quickly that the more that people tell you not to go somewhere the better it usually is.So far, Colombia has been very good to me and I know that there are many beautriful places that I still need to go… once I can get out of this town!!!!!Colombia has mountains as tall as the Rockies, Jungle, great cities, a Pacific Coastline AND Carribean beaches!
The first night that I was in Bogota I made friends with a the Marquez family (Carolina, Luisa and Juan Carlos) who have taken me in and treated as if I was family.Both girls are clothing designers who will end up in New York one day and Juan is a sculptor.I have spent most days with them exploring the city or just hanging out in their apartment cooking a big traditional Colombian lunch with Carne and Ensalada, my favorites.Of course they have have showed me the nightlife as well..I now know every place to go every night of the week in Bogota.The only night off being Sunday of course.We are in Latin America.
They have great music here and there is always somewhere to dance.Whether you want Latin music, afro latin, hip hop or electronic.There is also A LOT of great art all over the city.Everyone that I meet paints, designs clothes or plays some type of music.
As for the mornings, I have seen a bunch of those too.Usually on the wrong side though.BUT, I have learned a lot of Spanish along the way JMuch better than spending all day in Spanish school.
The hostel that I have been staying at is pretty cool too.There are many beds for travellers and lots of cool people come through.The first few days there I shared a room with a Japanese artist who has been travelling for 2 years and filled the room with his work, a couple of very cool Isaraelis and a turkish guy who sleeps all day and hangs out allnight (he has been there for a couple of months).I lost my roomates and they were replaced by 5 Chilean girls, then some Argentinians, then a French Jazz trio who plays in the hostel bar 2 nights a week for a free place to stay.The bar in the hostel always has good music thanks to my Colombiano friend Danny who DJ’s there almost every night.
The biggest problem that I have had in Colombia of course is trying to find a pair of shoes.I literrally went to about 40 different stores and found one pair of shoes that is a size too small but bought any way because they are really cool…The have great “tenis” here.Yes they call sneakers tenis.The other really strang thing is that they don’t have seats on their toilets.What the hell!
I did have a special treat last Friday as I got to hang with Sandra, a friend of an old friend who happened to be here visting family for a week.It was great to see a familiar face and show a Colombian American what goes on in Bogota.
The only real problem that I had was a dude that I know who told me to “fuck off” and “get the fuck out of his country”.He is a nut job but much smaller than me.
I even have a replacement for Daymond here. The Marquez family lab Kuma (bear in Japanese) who walks through the city streets with me every day with out a leash.She is the best.
There is a really good party tonight.I am leaving tomorrow.
